Monday, September 2, 2019

What I learned about friendship in France


When you spend a week with women who operate under a growth mindset point of view, you are bound to learn a thing or two about yourself.
But also you learn something about the special people who surround you.
And then on top of that, you grasp a few new nuggets about life.
So not only were we touristy and soaking up all the french culture, but we were also on a personal growth excursion.



So let me first tell you a little about the women I picked to bring on my 40th birthday trip (which in itself was a work of art as it had to be the perfect combo of personalities, who were able to get time off and had a supportive husband who could take over- not the easiest puzzle to piece together, let me tell you)



First up there was Abbie, whom the minute I mentioned I wanted to go to France for my 40th was in.  That's what I love most about her- she is game and she follows through (that is unless she is fake-extroverted out and needs some down time) (Abbie is not an extrovert, believe it or not).  I know Abbie well enough now that we're at sisterhood level of friendship and also we're businessing together which makes her a daily piece of my day.  Abbie is hilarious and thoughtful, sexy and witty.  Her way with words leave me wanting to write more.  I woke up on my birthday to this moving post that she penned about me (read it here).  Abbie makes you feel good about yourself all the time.



Jordan was an easy one to add to the mix as I have always thought her and Abbie would be quick friends.  I love Jordan like a sister and admire her like a friend- she is the one who has been around the longest.   I first got to know Jordan on the fastball diamond so you gotta know that we click and play well together.  I feel like we've seen each other at our worst and our best and know exactly what the other person needs.  I admire her values, her strength, her feistiness, her resilience, the way she family-s.  I love her heart.  It's as authentic as gold- I know I get the truth from her 100% of the time.



Michelle is the one I know the least but that's only because she came into my life the latest and spent the past two years living in Winnipeg.  But she's back now and I'm thrilled.  There was just something about her that drew me in from the minute I met her.  She is one of those people who is sincere and authentic and so very kind-hearted.  I also get a strong mom vibe from her and feel very nurtured when she's around.

These were not hard women to be around and I could have easily spent another week with them.  In the end, my pairing turned out to be the perfect combo as I feel we've built some solid friendships over the past week and I find myself missing these ladies terribly...even possibly more than zee french bread.


So we adventured and explored, tried new things and stood in awe at the base of historic sites.  Abbie & I tour guided, Jordan asked questions and Michelle kept us in childlike wonder- it was a great dynamic.  I think it's safe to say we all loved the small towns the most, partly because they were so enchanting but also because we got to practice being french: enjoying leisurely meals, people watching and having some inspiring conversations.



In the end, this is what I learned about life, myself and my friends:


  • They all have husbands that I would marry.  Which I mean in a non-creepy way but in a we share the same values, parent the same way and they're also tall, athletic and handsome way. 
  • I like to lead and plan- maybe because I'm controlling but also because I legitimately enjoy it.
  • Abbie is a crazy-fast learner.  Did you know she didn't know a lick of french when she came to France at 17? And now she's an immersion teacher??? Anything is possible, people. There's no reason to quit learning.  Growth mindset.
  • I knew Jordan was tough but man, she's way fiestier than I thought.  If she believes in something she stands for it 100%.  That means that if she is behind you, she is your #1 support holding you up.
  • I bet Michelle will be bilingual by the time her 40th roles around- there is a passion to learn in that lady.
  • The french may come off as rude but as very kind and helpful.




I think the biggest eye opener for me was that I was there with 3 stunning women, each in their own way.  And from the outside you look at them and think, damn, I wish I had her height..her muscles...her shape and naturally that forms a cloud over how you see yourself.  But in the end, everyone has their own issues, regardless how perfect they may look and if we all have our insecurities, why are we wasting precious time worrying about them?  Why aren't we stepping into the day with a face of confidence knowing that we are our best self?  And yes, while we may not be perfect, we are pretty damn close and in the end, isn't that giving us room to grow?  Shouldn't we all be working towards being our best self?  Focus less on my insecurities of how I compare to others and focus more on what I can actually work on to make me a better person.
Not too shabby a lesson to have learned while strolling the streets of France.



* This article was originally published here

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